


Here Again

by rainingover



Category: B.A.P, K-pop
Genre: Future Fic, Gen, I'm not crying it's just raining on my face
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-09
Updated: 2015-08-09
Packaged: 2018-04-13 20:47:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4536777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainingover/pseuds/rainingover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It means even more now than it has before, to win.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Here Again

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the B.A.P Bingo _Canon Future Fic_ prompt.

It means even more now than it has before, to win.

No one is admitting it, no one has actually spoken these words, but Jongup knows that it's true for all six of them. It's their first comeback since the law-suit, it's their first comeback in which the song is truly, completely theirs. They had made sure of it.

Plus, and Jongup swells with pride as he thinks about this, Yongguk even let him contribute to the making of it, just a little, and Jongup knows Yongguk has never been there to humour any of them. Respects them all more than that. If any of them approach Yongguk with lyrics that are sub-par or ideas that simply won't work, they aren't getting anywhere near their album. But, this time, when Jongup had approached his hyung with lyrics, had handed them over and rocked on his feet with nerves and apprehension as Yongguk had skimmed them, the words had ended up leaving the scrap of paper, and had become part of their title track.

It means a lot.

Jongup is starting to feel uncomfortable. The lights are hot, hotter than during rehearsals. It doesn't help that he's wearing a thick jacket for this concept, but he knows it will be over soon, back to the dressing room to peel off layers, before putting different layers back on to clamber into the van and travel back to the dorm. Schedules. He's still getting used to be being back to schedules.

He hovers at the back of the six of them, is happy here. Watches beads of perspiration form at the nape of Himchan's neck, watches as Youngjae waves to someone across the crowd, mouthing 'hello's' or 'good luck's' or 'speak later's' to someone from another group in the mass of bodies on stage.

The MCs are wrapping up and Jongup feels a fleeting urge to retreat. It's been well over a year since they were in this position, in the running for the top spot on a music show, and it's starting to feel like too much. He hears his name from the sea of excited eyes that make up the studio audience, glances towards their fans and lifts his hand to wave. He is almost surprised that the automatic reaction is still there, within him, after almost a year away from it all. The fans wave back.

It means a lot.

Jongup is wondering what, exactly, he was doing this time six months ago when he feels a hand on his lower back, blinks out of his daydream and realises that Yongguk is pushing him forward, keeping him with the group.  The MCs are running through the points now, and the wait for the announcement is taking longer than he thinks it should, or maybe it just feels that way when you're living it again. Yongguk manoeuvres him until his body is tucked in between Daehyun and Junhong's, and Junhong glances at him and  flashes a tiny, nervous smile.

Daehyun is biting his lip, staring straight through the crowd and Jongup can tell that his friend is sucking in a breath that he doesn't even realise he's holding. Jongup wonders if they all look as nervous on camera as he knows they feel. He wonders if they should be smiling more. He tries it, thinks it probably just makes him look vacant, but once he's started he knows he can't exactly stop, so he holds it in place until it sticks.

It means a lot.

The comeback has been well received by most. Some news outlets have revelled in the controversy of their break, have painted them in an unsympathetic shade of greed and disobedience. The people that matter know that none of it is true, but it still feels like a kick to the gut when those types of words are thrown around. Still, their single is selling well, though, and the music video views are higher than expected, but none of them are quite sure what it all means.

Whatever it means, it means a lot.

The numbers are rising, the winner is about to be announced, and Jongup thinks that maybe he isn't really there, under studio lights. Maybe he's at home, in his childhood bedroom wondering where life will take them next. Ignoring texts from the older members about the lawsuit and pretending that the only major decision in his life is whether to play xbox or watch movies that night. Maybe life hasn't taken them back to the stage at all, maybe this is all a dream.

(It isn't.)

"B.A.P!" The MC all but sings into their microphone, and, just before the applauding and the music and the smiling begins, Jongup is sure he hears Daehyun let out the breath that he didn't even know he was keeping in.

It means a lot.


End file.
